Throughout my twenties, living in New York and dating with little to no success, I couldn’t help but feel like something was wrong with me. I would go on dates, get fixated on having a fairytale-like future with someone I hardly knew, and then get upset when it inevitably didn’t work out. I was unable to date casually, and the stress I felt over my love life was a huge reason why I got into astrology in the first place. I would check my weekly horoscope and pull up my birth chart—a snapshot of where the planets were positioned at the exact time of birth—attempting to understand how it all correlated to my life. Over time, I was able to identify certain traits I had always struggled with and, sometimes, use them to my advantage.
Eventually, I made a career out of astrology, giving regular readings to clients. I began to notice how similar planetary patterns occurred for many people when they reached major relationship milestones, like moving in together or getting engaged and married. For instance, movements of Jupiter and Saturn, which symbolise growth and commitment, can indicate how a relationship might begin, transform or reach a make-it-or-break-it point.
I applied this same understanding to my own chart, deleting all of the dating apps and leaving my love life up to the universe. If I was meant to be in a relationship, it would happen, and I didn’t need to try to force it. After a relatively dry five and a half years relationship-wise, I was set up on a date with my now husband in February 2021—a moment when the planets happened to be aligned in both of our charts. Throughout our four years together, I have continued to use astrology to understand the various phases of our relationship, and it has been a helpful tool in recognising when difficult periods come and go for each of us. Sometimes, this can lead to a bit too much predicting, such as when I was trying to anticipate when he would propose. (Thankfully, he somehow managed to surprise me.)
Once we got engaged and had decided on the year and general season of when we wanted to get married, we then had to find a date that both worked with people’s schedules and also had optimum astrology. I don’t believe the wedding date plays a decisive role in the fate of the relationship; I see this more as a way to ensure an easy, enjoyable wedding—for the couple and their guests. Nonetheless, below are some key astrological considerations that I found helpful and which you may want to keep in mind when planning your own celebration.
How to plan your wedding according to astrology
The moon phase—that is, whether it is a full or crescent moon, waxing or waning, and so on—on which your wedding date falls sets the tone for the event. The few days right before a new moon are typically the lowest energy time out of the month. If you have your wedding on or right around a new moon, expect it to have more of a low-key vibe. However, the new moon is also great for symbolising a fresh start in the relationship and building upon the next life chapter with your partner. In contrast, the full moon is a time of heightened activity and emotion, so if you’re getting married around that period, expect your wedding weekend to feel more fast-paced, with a lot of strong feelings surfacing. However, the full moon is an ideal time for bringing people together and being extra-social.
Understanding the qualities of the zodiac season in which you want to get married is important too. Fire sign seasons—Aries, Leo and Sagittarius—tend to be more outgoing times of the year, when there is greater action taking place. These months can be good for getting guests to establish new connections at the wedding and venture outside of their comfort zones. In a similar way, the air sign seasons of Gemini Libra, and Aquarius are the most social times of the year, when you’re naturally wanting to mix and mingle with people, especially in bigger group settings. To contrast, water sign seasons (Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces) are typically more emotional and introverted periods. These months would be good for having an intimate ceremony, where you’re inviting a smaller group of people that you feel comfortable around. Finally, earth sign seasons of Virgo, Capricorn and Taurus are good for keeping track of the logistics related to wedding planning. So if you want to ensure that no detail is overlooked on the day of, these months would be your best bet. However, they may not have the same spontaneous, outgoing element that a fire or air sign season embodies.
My husband and I knew that we wanted to have our wedding in early summer 2024, so it was a toss-up between Gemini and Cancer season. We ultimately went with Gemini, because it has that fun, social element. Gemini is also the sign associated with exploring and short-term travel, and because we had a destination wedding in Italy, it fit the theme of that sign perfectly.
Another astrological event that you may want to take note of when planning your wedding is if there will be any major retrogrades—a time when a planet appears to be moving backward, from our perspective on earth, on its journey around the sun—occurring at that time. With Mercury retrogrades, it’s more likely that you will run into delays, small hiccups or miscommunications on the wedding day. I once attended a wedding during a Mercury retrograde, and the bus that was carrying half of the guests got so delayed that we missed the entire ceremony. Venus in particular is the planet associated with love and relationships, so when this planet is retrograde, there may be more reflection on old relationships, or there could be a need to address underlying problems with a friend or partner. You may even feel like you need to revisit past relationship history, which could make it more challenging to move forward into the future with someone. If you absolutely must have your wedding during one of these retrogrades, it could be symbolic of people from your past coming back into your life to celebrate you.
Finally, it can be helpful to note where a couple of the other planets are positioned on your wedding date. Saturn is the planet that symbolises commitment and longevity, which is ideal when starting a life with someone. Meanwhile, Jupiter shows growth and advancement, and brings a light, optimistic spirit with it, so having a little bit of each of these planets is beneficial for a wedding—or any other big event, for that matter. You may need to pull out a chart to examine these alignments or consult with an astrologer, but having the sun or moon aligned with Jupiter, or Venus connecting with Saturn, may help you to feel more at ease going into your wedding.
With all of this being said, when it comes to picking a wedding date, don’t stress about planning your wedding according to astrology or drive yourself nuts over where the planets are positioned. If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years of being an astrologer, it’s that major life events are out of your control and always happen when the timing is right.
This article first appeared on Vogue.com
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